A Lizard in the Park

A lizard is walking in the park pushing a baby in a stroller. “What’s your child’s name?” asks a woman pushing her own stroller. “Tiny,” says the lizard. “Because she’s my newt.”

 

 

College Football All-Stars

It’s the season …

 

 

 

 

The Most Generous Husband In The World

Several men are dressing in the locker room of a golf club. A smart phone on a bench rings, and the man nearest stops dressing and presses the speaker button.

“Hello?” he says.

“Honey, it’s me,” answers a woman.  “Are you at the club?”

“Yes.” the man says.

“I’m downtown, and I just found a fur coat I really want.  But it’s a little expensive,” she says.

“How much?” the man asks.

“$1000.  Can I get it?” she replies.

“Sure,” the man answers.

“Also, I stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new model I liked so much.” she says.

“How much?” the man asks.

“$96,000,” she replies.

“OK.  But for that price, make sure it comes with all the options,” he says.

“Great!  One more thing, honey,” the woman says.  “That house I wanted last year is back on the market.  They are asking a million and a half for it now.”

“Well,” says the man, “Go ahead and make an offer for a $1.2 million.  They’ll probably take it. If not, add another $50,000.  But only if you really want the house.”

“Darling!  I love you so much.  You’re the most generous husband in the world!” the wife exclaims.

“You’re worth it, ” he replies.

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, with mouths wide open.  The man holds up the phone and asks, “Anybody know whose this is?”