My town is small, right at the foot of the mountains, but we still have three churches and a synagogue. This winter, we had a strange problem. Probably because of the cold snap, a huge number of squirrels came down from the mountains and caused havoc in our places of worship.
At the Baptist church, they found squirrels in the baptistry. The deacons weren’t able to catch any of the squirrels, so they tried to get the squirrels to drown themselves by putting up a tiny water slide. But the squirrels loved the slide, and just kept playing in the water.
At the Lutheran church, they really didn’t want to harm God’s creatures, so they set traps to humanely capture the squirrels. Then they set them free behind the Baptist church. But the squirrels came back after the Baptists took down the water slide.
The Catholic church had the most squirrels. It was a real problem as they liked to nest in the confessional and at the top of most of the statuary. And like the Baptist squirrels, they liked to play in the holy water fonts.
It got so bad, the Baptist, Lutheran and Catholic churches called a joint conference to try to solve their squirrel problem. And they finally came up with a solution. They made all the squirrels members of their respective churches, and now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
The Synagogue? Oh, they had squirrels too, but not for very long. The Rabbi asked their Mohel to grab the first squirrel he could find and perform a bris. You know, circumcise it. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
The Joke Thief 